First night out...Fun?

I used to love going out, getting all dolled up, listening to music and having a couple of drinks to get in the mood.

My uniform for the last 8 weeks however has pretty much been track pants and a maternity top or pyjama pants and a maternity top. So i was just looking forward to doing my make up and hair and putting on a nice frock.

As soon as i left River with his dad down at the footy i started to get this feeling of guilt and missing him in my tummy. This feeling grew stronger the further i moved away from him.

It was my girlfriends hens night and we were going out for dinner and then out on the town. I got to the apartment where we were meeting and was greeted by screaming girls, hugs and kisses, it was like i'd been away over seas or something and in away i guess i had. We got to the restaurant and we all sat down and caught up. I was having so much fun with the girls laughing taking photos and carrying on and having a couple of beers, the most i'd had to drink in almost a year.

I had been getting advice all week from different mums, (especially my own) that i should take it easy, advice which i was listening to, i wanted to have a good time but i definitely didn't want a hang over looking after a little baby. Also my partner had informed me a day or 2 before the hens that he had to work the following morning at 7am so i still had to be up to feed River for his morning feed which was usually around 630am 7ish.

Throughout the night my partner kept me updated with what was River was doing, it was great to be kept in the loop. After dinner i was feeling pretty good, a little tipsy but pretty good. We headed to a club, where i got to have a dance, something i'd been looking forward to. I'm not going to lie, i used to be quite the dancer back in the day, or at least i thought i was, haha. The sensible mum started to come out in me and i started to have a water after every drink. By the second club i was starting to really miss River so i decided it was time to go. Lucky i have great parents and my dad had agreed to pick me up and take me home.

When i got home, i had a shower and as i got out of the shower i started to hear River crying. I walked in and Jamie was sound asleep, that man could sleep through a bomb. I woke him up and told him River was crying and he jumped up and proceeded to heat up his bottle. In that time i had scooped River up who was starting to get really upset. I gave him his dummy and tried to calm him down. It was really hard to hold my baby and not give him what he wanted. My boobs were so full but i new the milk was no good, due to the alcohol. Jamie finally got the bottle ready and River guzzled it down and drifted off to sleep.

Jamie's alarm went off at 6am for him to go to work. I woke up in so much pain my boobs were literally about to explode, but i was so tired i tried to ignore it so i could get more sleep but i couldn't, so i got up and off i went to pump.

I sat on the couch with my eyes hanging out of my head and tried to pump. I guess because i wasn't really concentrating as i was so tired the milk just wasn't coming out, my boobs were sore and i was tired and it just wasn't working. After about half an hour i got enough out to be comfortable and just after i finished, River started crying for a feed, so i got the bottle ready and went in to feed him. River decided he didn't really like the bottle that morning, so he was crying and fussing taking the bottle then just chewing it. After about 45 mins he had finished and i put him back down to sleep. Again it was so hard to watch him fussing and crying and not being able to just whip my boob out and give him what he wanted.

I again pumped before his midday feed and gave him a bottle again. Again he was crying and crying waiting for the bottle and i was running back and forward from the kitchen to the lounge room, putting in his dummy then running back to fix the bottle, but it wasn't warm enough so i'd run back to the lounge room put his dummy back in and this continued for about 10 mins. Poor baby.

For his feed in the afternoon, i pumped a bit then fed him from the boob, it had been over 12hrs since i had last had a drink, so from what i had read it should have been fine. It was such a relief for me and River. My boobs were finally emptying and River was finally getting what he wanted.  Although it seemed River was getting full from the bottle, i couldn't help but think he wasn't getting enough.

All in all, i had fun at the hens, it was awesome catching up with the girls and having a laugh. But at the end of the day i wasn't drunk enough to really let my hair down but i was to drunk for my milk to be any good for River. I have the wedding next weekend and i've decided i'm going to drive. I might have a couple of beers over the evening but i want to be able to feed my baby. For me it was to hard having what he wanted but not being able to give it to him. Everyone is different and i would never judge a fellow mum however for me i think i'll be laying off the nights out until i finish breast feeding River, for me its not worth it, i'd rather have 1 or 2 drinks out for dinner with the girls and still be able to feed my little man.



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