Don't judge

As mothers we all share a very special secret bond, we carried a beautiful baby, we gave birth, be it naturally or with help, we got to hear that first cry and hold that little miracle in our arms which we'd carried inside us. I am of the belief that as mums we're all in this together, we should help and encourage each other and not judge the way others have chosen to parent their child. After all we're all just trying to do what we believe is best for our family.

Unfortunately in the society we live in with all the different parenting styles, social media and the pressure's to be the "perfect mum", some mothers do judge, and after what we've all achieved i find this really upsetting.
 
A few weeks ago i was extremely sleep deprived, i was demand feeding River which meant for my big baby feeding him every hour or two, for and hour or two, all day and all night, it got me wondering if there was a better way.  After reaching out to some other mums, they recommended the book 'Save our Sleep' by Tizzy Hall. Its a book basically about routines for babies and toddlers and part of the routine at the beginning is controlled comforting. It's slightly different to controlled crying, wherein controlled crying you leave the baby and go in for a minute or two when the crying gets to much and then go out again. With controlled comforting when the crying gets to much, you go in and sit with the baby for about 20 mins and most of the time they fall asleep. The book encourages you to listen to your baby and figure out why they are crying. For me this was the greatest skill i could have learnt. The first night I tried controlled comforting I lasted about 10 mins, went in and topped River up and he went straight to sleep, that night he slept for 5 hours, the longest he had ever slept. The next night he cried again i let him go for a little bit longer but i still couldn't help myself, i topped him up and he went straight to sleep. The next night he had a good feed and i put him down at 7 and that was it, not a peep. It got me thinking the cries i was hearing the nights before were probably his hungry cries, so i then knew if i heard those cries i would top him up and he would go off to sleep and so far so good. With the routine it also spread out his feeds which was great, instead of River demand feeding and just snacking all the time he was now having a proper feed.

This method worked for me and my family, River now sleeps for at least a 6hr stretch at night and for the last week he's even started sleeping right through. I'm happier, River's happier and Jamie's happier because he can see we are.

About a week into trying this new routine i read some comments made by another mum about controlled comforting. The way these comments were delivered threw me a little and left me feeling upset, and made me question whether what i was doing was the right thing. It made me feel like what i was doing was horrible and how could i leave my child to cry in a room. It took all i could to leave my baby crying, but i was so sleep deprived i was willing to try anything, and after only a couple of nights of listening to River cry it worked and he now knows when bedtime is and goes to sleep with a smile.

The comments made by this mum in regards to controlled comforting were her opinion and she is definitely entitled to her opinion, however, the way it came across was sarcastic and judgemental. Controlled comforting may not be a path this mum would like to take in parenting her child, however i don't believe these comments should make another mother (me) doubt her choice or feel bad about the decision made, when parenting alone is already hard enough.

Another example of judging i was shocked to hear about is how mums can behave at school. I was talking to a girlfriend yesterday at a BBQ and she has just finished her primary school teaching degree (congrats Patty) and she was telling me how judgemental the mums at school can be. She told me one incident were one mum said loudly in the class "finally that child isn't crying today", the mother of said child heard this comment and became quite upset. After hearing this story, i just thought how can mums be like that, we all have kids, we know they cry and can be fussy, why pass judgement and make that mum feel like she's anything but a great mum.

When i found out i was going to be a mum, my partner and i briefly discussed how we would like to parent our child and we both agreed all we wanted to be was good parents, if we could raise a compassionate, happy, confident and well adjusted human being our job would be done.

Being a mum in today's modern world is hard, every man and his dog has an opinion on how you should bring up your child. Whether you're an attachment parent who co sleeps with your child or perhaps an instinctive parent someone who just goes with their gut, or maybe even an authoritative parent who likes rules and regulations, it doesn't matter, we're all trying to achieve the same goal at the end of the day and thats to bring up our beautiful children the best we know how.

Don't judge man!

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I wonder

I wonder if River knows i'm the one who wakes him up in the morning?
I wonder if River knows i'm the one who feeds him every day?
I wonder if River knows i'm the one who spends the day with him?
I wonder if River feels a special bond with me like i feel with him?
I wonder if when i hold River he feels safe and happy?
I wonder if River can feel how much i love him?



If you enjoyed my blog, check out my face book page, Love and Late Nights Mumma where like minded mums come to share and discuss the good the bad and the ugly of motherhood!

Soul Mate

Yesterday was a very special day.

It was a special day not only because it was my amazing nan's 81st birthday but it was also nan and pop's 60th wedding anniversary. 60 years ago on nan's 21st birthday they married, so beautiful.

I read the card which nan had written to pop, the first line read, "to my soul mate". Tears welled up immediately.  As i read on i was overwhelmed with the love that my nan still has for my pop after 60 years of marriage.

"Thank you for being my husband, thank you for being my lover, thank you for being my friend"- Nan

Nan and pop met on a train over 60 years ago, nan was engaged to someone else. Pop said to me yesterday, "imagine if i decided to go the other way on the train that day, i would never have met your nan". However fate was working its magic that day, and they did meet, and are still together and happy 60 years later.

Their marriage is such an achievement and inspiration to me. I know i've found my soul mate, we now share a beautiful baby boy together and i look forward to celebrating our 60th wedding anniversary together one day.

"I love you as much today as i did 60 years ago, when you stole my heart away" - Nan

60 years married

River man and pop

River man with nan & pop

River man and nan

If you enjoyed my blog, check out my face book page, Love and Late Nights Mumma where like minded mums come to share and discuss the good the bad and the ugly of motherhood!

Sharp little claws

When River man was born his little nails were like razors. He lived in his mitts for about the first 6 weeks.

At the beginning we were a bit scared of cutting his nails, his little fingers were so tiny and precious but it had to be done. We got some of those tiny little nail clippers and Jamie gave it a go. Very delicately jamie moved from finger to finger and after about 20mins of precision clipping he finished.

It seems as though only days later his little nails had grown again, i could feel him clawing me on my boob while i was feeding him. On went the mittens again.

Like i said he had the mittens on pretty much for the first 6 weeks but after that his little hands were starting to get to big for the mittens and he had his fists shut all the time. So we ditched the mittens and just tried to keep on top of clipping his nails.

No matter how we clip or file his nails, there is always a sharp little edge and he scratches himself. He woke up this morning with his arms wiggled out of his swaddle (again) and he has 2 scratched on his face and Jamie only trimmed and tried to file his nails 2 days ago.

River man getting a manicure

Does anyone have any tips on how to tame his little claws? Or do they make big mittens? his wee hands are so big now.



If you enjoyed my blog, check out my face book page, Love and Late Nights Mumma where like minded mums come to share and discuss the good the bad and the ugly of motherhood!

River's little scratched face this morning :-(

Favourtie boobie

So it's official River man has a favourite boob, i don't really understand it and i find it just a little bit frustrating.

Lunch date

River and I had a lovely lunch date today with the girls from work. River man got to meet his first friends Star and Olivia and i got to enjoy my first steak since being pregnant.

While i was pregnant i couldn't stand steak, any other meat was fine, but steak, forget about it. Towards the end of my pregnancy Jamie and I went out for dinner and i had a craving for steak so i thought i'd give it a go, as soon as it hit my lips i wanted to gag, it was not going to happen.

Today however that steak went down a treat, every mouthful was a little piece of juicy heaven.

Was there anything you used to love before being pregnant then absolutely couldn't stand when you were with child?


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River man meeting star

River man meeting Olivia

Some of the gang from work

Cluster feeds

Cluster feeding, just another thing i didn't know about.


The first time River had a cluster feed he was a couple of weeks old and i thought, "oh my god, what have i got myself into". He fed on and off for about 6hrs, the tears where flowing and i was exhausted, I looked at Jamie and said "how am i supposed to do this all the time?"and "What am i doing wrong?". I gave him over to Jamie after the 6th hour and hoped he could get him to sleep, he lay on Jamie's chest while Jamie gently rocked him and eventually he nodded off while I lay there and quietly sobbed.

The next morning i googled, baby feeding for a long time and up popped cluster feeding, i had a read and it sounded exactly like what i had just experienced. Here's a little snip it on cluster feeding from a great website called Kelly Mom, which you can access through this link http://kellymom.com/

Cluster feeding, also called bunch feeding, is when babies space feeding closer together at certain times of the day and go longer between feedings at other times. This is very common, and often occurs in the evenings. It’s often -but not always- followed by a longer sleep period than usual: baby may be “tanking up” before a long sleep. For example, your baby may nurse every hour (or even constantly) between 6 and 10 PM, then have a longish stretch of sleep at night – baby may even sleep all night.

Cluster feeding often coincides with your baby’s fussy time. Baby will nurse a few minutes, pull off, fuss/cry, nurse a few minutes, pull off, fuss/cry… on and on… for hours. This can be VERY frustrating, and mom starts wondering if baby is getting enough milk, if something she is eatingis bothering baby, if EVERYTHING she is doing is bothering baby… It can really ruin your confidence, particularly if there is someone else around asking the same questions (your mother, your husband, your mother-in-law).

This behavior is NORMAL! It has nothing to do with your breastmilk or your mothering. If baby is happy the rest of the day, and baby doesn’t seem to be in pain (as with colic) during the fussy time – just keep trying to soothe your baby and don’t beat yourself up about the cause. Let baby nurse as long and as often as he will. Recruit dad (or another helper) to bring you food/drink and fetch things (book/remote/phone/etc.) while you are nursing and holding baby.

I wasn't so lucky the first time to have River sleep for a longer period of time, he woke up after about 2.5hrs. However the second night he cluster fed again and he slept for about 5hrs. The second night although it was still frustrating and upsetting at times at least i new what was going on. I wish i had known about cluster feeding earlier, it would have saved some of the tears and doubt that i was having in my ability to feed my baby. 

Have you experienced cluster feeding?



If you enjoyed my blog, check out my face book page, Love and Late Nights Mumma where like minded mums come to share and discuss the good the bad and the ugly of motherhood!

Oh you're so big....Ah thanks!

I used to be a healthy 62kg's i walked every other day and i watched what i ate (sometimes). Basically i looked after myself and i felt pretty good about how i looked. When you're pregnant the hormones are racing, things are changing and at times you may not feel to good about how your bodies developing, well i had moments like that anyway.

Once the whole pregnancy sunk in i was so excited to start showing, i was disappointed to find out that this probably wasn't going to be until about 5 months. Was i the only one who didn't know you don't start showing straight away? Anyway, it was almost like clock work around 20 weeks i started to get a distinct bump, instead of that, "is she pregnant or just put on a few kilo's" kind of look which i had been sporting for the previous few months. It was very exciting. I was happy and very proud of my little bump.

I took that approach that i think a lot of mummies to be take, "I'm pregnant, i'm going to enjoy it and eat what i want". Don't get me wrong I tried to be as healthy as i could during my pregnancy, but there were definitely times (maybe to many) where the cupcake, chocolate, fast food cravings took over. Those damn cravings are so strong and they just get stuck in your head until you eventually give in.

Around 30 weeks my feelings toward my bump started to change a little, when i looked in the mirror only sometimes did i see a beautiful pregnant lady and the other times i saw a pregnant lady who used to have a good body and who shouldn't have eaten that third cupcake. I was starting to get pretty big, and didn't every man and his dog like to tell me! As i was saying, those pregnancy hormones can make you a little sensitive and emotional and almost on a daily basis i had people saying, "wow you're so big", or "how far along are you, oh really, you'll go early" and my favourite "are you having twins, haha". Well, i didn't find that very funny. It made me feel very self conscious, how was i supposed to look at 30 weeks pregnant? It upset me, it made me feel as though i was bigger then i should have been.

Now i'm sure these people didn't mean to upset me with their comments, I'm sure they didn't even realise i cared. At the end of the day you wouldn't tell an over weight person they looked big so why is it ok to say it to a pregnant women who may also be struggling with their new body image. For me these comments i got daily unfortunately played on my mind for the rest of my pregnancy, and at times i felt quite down about my beautiful bump.

Having a happy moment with my bump

Time chugged by and at 40 + 4 days i gave birth to an extremely healthy 10lb 3oz baby boy. If there is one thing i learnt from this experience it's that every pregnant women is different, you are growing an amazing life inside your body, don't let anyones comments affect your experience of carrying that amazing miracle. Looking back now i wish i hadn't of cared so much, my next pregnancy i will be rocking my bump and if someone says to me, "wow you're big", i'll just say "i know, isn't it fabulous"!


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That awkward baby stage

At about 3-4 weeks old my baby started to turn in to a pubescent grandpa. Within the space of a week River broke out in milk pimples all over his cheeks and lost all the hair on top of his head, my sister affectionally renamed him George Costanza, for any of you who aren't familiar with Seinfeld he was the balding overweight middle aged guy!

This was another thing i was pretty clueless about. So i googled newborn hair loss and milk pimples. Turns out they are both very common, most babies lose their hair and then it grows back in a few weeks or months and milk pimples are a common occurrence to, its all the mothers hormones coming through the milk into bubs and they generally last a few weeks as well. I breathed a sigh of relief, i was beginning to think i had jinxed River because i kept telling everyone how gorgeous and beautiful he was, now don't get me wrong he was still gorgeous and beautiful but in a funny awkward baby stage kind of way.

He's now nearly 9 weeks old, his little milk pimples have all cleared up and he has the beginnings of a full head of hair.

Did anyone else's baby go through this? How long did it last?

My little bald River man in all his bald glory 

If you enjoyed my blog, check out my face book page, Love and Late Nights Mumma where like minded mums come to share and discuss the good the bad and the ugly of motherhood!

Things they don't tell you!

I just thought i would share a few things about after birth and babies that i didn't know happened until they happened!

#1. After pains or contractions - I had no idea that after you have the baby you still get contractions or after pains. These pains are your uterus contracting to its pre pregnancy size and position. They usually only last a couple of days, i think mine lasted for about 2 days. They can be most uncomfortable while your breastfeeding. When i was breastfeeding during those couple of days i was getting the contractions i wore 2 pads on top of each other. This is because when your sitting down to breastfeed you're getting these contractions which shrinks the uterus which in tern pushes out more blood (which is the uterus lining), so to feel secure thats why i doubled up.

#2 Night sweats - This is the one i wish someone had told me about. About a week after having River, i woke up in the middle of the night absolutely drenched in sweat. I had no idea what the hell was going on. I wiped myself down and figured it was a one off. Not the case, this probably carried on for about a week and a half. A few days in i had a chat with my trusty mate google and he explained it was my body getting rid of all the excess fluid i accumulated over my pregnancy. It was such a pain in the butt i had to change the sheets almost every day and i slept with a towel over my pillow. But in the end at least i shed a couple of kilo's.

#3 Umbilical cord - Now you might think i'm a bit dumb on this one, but i just didn't realise that the umbilical cord smelt. Probably the second day River was home we started to smell something and couldn't figure out what it was, his nappy was clean and the garbage was out, what could it be? On the third day i was changing his nappy and i lent down to kiss his tummy and oh my god, that was the smell. It was disgusting! I think about a week later it fell off, thank god, it couldn't have been quick enough, the thing was gross.

#4 Breast feeding can be hard - Breast feeding is a learned skill, this could not be a truer statement. I assumed breastfeeding would be easy, you pop the baby on your boob and away you go. Not so. You have to make sure your holding the baby correctly and that they are latched on all while trying to relax so your colostrum or milk can flow through. The first few days i found a bit difficult, little man just wouldn't stay latched on and would only feed for about 5 mins at a time. It was at times frustrating, but persistence is the key and with the help of the midwives we got it in the end and we are both now pretty amazing at breastfeeding. Also they say breast-feeding shouldn't be painful and if it is then you're doing it wrong. Thats not true, for me the first week or so my nipples were sore and i got a blister, the baby was latching on just fine, but your nipples aren't used to having something suck on them almost all day so of course its going to hurt for a few days, but for me it cleared up and now doesn't hurt at all.

#5 Fore milk and hind milk - Now i've done a blog on this so i'll just tell the basics. River was getting green poo's, was extremely gassy and wasn't sleeping longer then 2 hrs. I googled green poo's and what i found matched what was happening with River to a T. I figured that if River was feeding and getting his tummy full that was all that mattered and it didn't matter what boob he was getting it from or how long he was on each boob, but thats not the case. Babies need to drain one boob at a time so they are getting the calorie rich hind milk which is at the end of a feed. If the baby only gets the fore milk which is at the beginning of a feed it can cause green poo's, gas and they won't be full which means they will wake more frequently. Hence the importance of feeding on 1 boob completely at a time. I wish i had known that early on.

#6 Keeping a baby awake longer won't make them sleep better at night - When we first got River home we thought that if we kept him up in the afternoon he would sleep better at night. Sooooo not the case. It only made him over tired, extremely fussy and hard to feed. But i didn't know that, so there were quite a few tears in the first weeks from me and River because i couldn't get him to sleep. Babies need sleep its as simple as that.

What are some tips that you wish you had known?


If you enjoyed my blog, check out my face book page, Love and Late Nights Mumma where like minded mums come to share and discuss the good the bad and the ugly of motherhood!

Last night was a good night!

Last night was awesome!

River man had a feed at 6pm and like a champ he didn't fall asleep this time so he got a full tummy. 7pm rolled around, i swaddled him up popped him in the bassinet awake and shut the door. 5 mins later i crept in to check on him and he was sound asleep. YAY!

Now i didn't want to get to excited because he's tricked me before, falling asleep only to wake up 20 mins later. But the hours rolled by and he didn't wake up.

I started to hear his little grunts and snorts and i rolled over and checked my phone 3am, i couldn't believe it, my baby just slept for 8hrs!

I gave him a feed and he only fed for about 20 mins. I placed him back down and waited for him to kick around, but nothing, he was out like a light and didn't wake back up till 6:45am this morning.

I owe all this i believe to getting him to have his proper sleeps during the day. The previous couple of days i had been out in the afternoon so River man didn't get his proper hours sleep. But yesterday he got his afternoon sleep then his afternoon nap, this meant that at feed time before bed he was awake enough to have a proper feed. This meant he didn't wake up half an hour after putting him down hungry again.

Sleep is so important to River and i'm assuming all babies. I pretty much know now that if he doesn't get his sleep in the afternoon it will be hell putting him down in the evening.


If you enjoyed my blog, check out my face book page, Love and Late Nights Mumma where like minded mums come to share and discuss the good the bad and the ugly of motherhood!

Spew, ewww!

So last night was one of those nights.

It all started probably at lunch time when River didn't get a long enough sleep and it just snow balled from there. Jamie had the day off so we decided to go out for lunch. I fed the little man up and hoped he would fall asleep in the car then sleep through lunch. This was not the case. He was awake through lunch till about the last 10 mins, so i popped him in his pram and scoffed the rest of my food. We decided to go for a bit of a walk so we could keep River asleep as long as possible. We eventually got back to the car and he managed to sleep the rest of the way home. I was hoping we could get him out of the car and pop him straight into bed because at this stage he had only been asleep for about 40mins and he needed at least an hour and a half. But of course as soon as we got him out of the car his eyes were open and as soon as we put him in his bassinet he was having none of it. I let him carry on for a few minutes hoping he would just go back to sleep but our little man was wide awake.

2pm was close approaching so i gave River man a feed ready for his 3pm sleep time. He was pretty fussy because by this stage he was starting to get overtired. So it was a bit of a struggle but he managed to go down around 3pm. I was relieved it had been a busy morning. An hour rolled by and i started to hear that all to familiar grunting and snorting coming from my bedroom. I let it go for a while, again hoping he would go back to sleep, then the crying, then the screaming started. I went in and i thought i would give him a little top up and hope he would go back to sleep, again this was not the case. I ended up bringing him out to hang with Jamie and I in the lounge, hoping he would catch some zzz's on daddies chest. But little man just wanted to play, giggle and stay awake. Now these things i don't have a problem with however i no the consequences of a baby not sleeping throughout the day, it means one overtired baby for mum at night who won't feed properly and won't sleep.

So now it was bedtime, River had a shower with daddy and got his pj's on. I started to feed him at 6pm and just as i had predicted, i had one fussy overtired baby. River would feed for 2 mins then pull off crying then go back on then come off crying again. Every time his little sleepy eyes would begin to close he would quickly open them again and then start crying. At 6:30pm he fell asleep, but i new it wasn't over. River often does this if he's over tired. I'll feed him for a bit and he'll be so tired he'll eventually fall asleep, but only for about 20mins or half an hour then he'll wake up screaming as he hasn't had enough food, because he fell asleep. So right on cue about 20mins after falling asleep River man woke up screaming and hungry so i went in and we did the over tired baby dance till about 8:30pm, when i finally put him down.

Jamie and I were so tired we ended up going to bed at about 9pm. I was out in the lounge room when Jamie came out saying that River was still awake, that he was lying there with his eyes open. I felt like River was a little energiser bunny, he just kept going and going. I told Jamie as long as he's quiet and i can sleep he can stay awake as long as he wants. I lay there in bed and listened as River's breathing starting to get slower and more regular and slowly he drifted off to sleep.

I was next woken up at 2:15am by snorting and grunting and i let it go till about 2:45am, then i got up and scooped little River man out of the bassinet, as i did so i noticed his back was really wet. I thought, oh my god is this sweat? have i over heated my little baby? I put him on the bed and felt the mattress and it was really wet to, then i noticed it smelt like spew. I got him out of his swaddle and his jump-suit was wet as well. At this stage he was crying because he was hungry, so i quickly fed him enough so he wasn't crying, then i had to change everything. I went to his room grabbed a new jumpsuit, swaddle, sheet and blanket. Stripped his bed, re made it then re dressed River. As i was putting the new jumpsuit on i noticed that there was dried spew all over his face it was around his nose around his eyes and in his hair. This started to get me pretty worried and freaked out. River had done a serious spew and it had gone all over his face not just rolled down the side of his mouth. What if he had choked or something? Now another thing to add to the list of things to worry about!

By the time i had cleaned River man up and given him some more food, he was WIDE awake, it was about 3:45am at that stage and mumma was tired. I put him down and hoped he would fall back asleep. I lay there and listened to him snorting, sighing, grunting and kicking his legs around. I listened to this till about 4:30am when i couldn't listen any more. I looked in his bassinet and he smiled at me, if he wasn't so damn cute i might have been upset. I picked him up and popped him on the boob, within 5 mins he was out cold. Jamie's alarm went off at 4:45am for work, i pushed him to wake him up so he could quickly turn it off, i had a sleeping a baby in my arms and if that damn alarm woke him i would not be happy. Thank god he stayed asleep, i delicately put him in his bassinet, lay back down and shut my eyes.

If someone had described to me what i did last night when i wasn't a mum, i would have thought it sounded almost like a form of torture. It still amazes me how we turn from women into mums just like that. No formal training or handbook, we just no what to do and get on with it.

If you enjoyed my blog, check out my face book page, Love and Late Nights Mumma where like minded mums come to share and discuss the good the bad and the ugly of motherhood!

I've become one of those mums...

I'm not going to lie, before i had River, if someone started to talk to me about there kids 95% of the time i would zone out and just smile and say wow or awesome. I was never going to be one of those mums who rambled on about their kids.

So the other day Jamie and I were in the chemist getting some baby panadol and Jamie was holding River, the lady behind the counter started telling us how cute River was and how strong he was holding his head up. I jut got so excited and started listing all the things he could do like rolling over and sitting up on the couch. We walked away and Jamie looked at me and laughed and said we're those parents.

The other night when i went out for the hens party, i was telling anyone who listened about River and showing pictures and i don't even think i realised i was doing it till the next day my mum said, did you talk about River last night and i thought about it and pretty much every second sentence was about him, i've become one of those mums.

I don't mind though, because being one of those mums means being extremely proud of your babies and loving them so much you just want to tell the whole world.

How could you not gush about this little man

If you enjoyed my blog, check out my face book page, Love and Late Nights Mumma where like minded mums come to share and discuss the good the bad and the ugly of motherhood!

First night out...Fun?

I used to love going out, getting all dolled up, listening to music and having a couple of drinks to get in the mood.

My uniform for the last 8 weeks however has pretty much been track pants and a maternity top or pyjama pants and a maternity top. So i was just looking forward to doing my make up and hair and putting on a nice frock.

As soon as i left River with his dad down at the footy i started to get this feeling of guilt and missing him in my tummy. This feeling grew stronger the further i moved away from him.

It was my girlfriends hens night and we were going out for dinner and then out on the town. I got to the apartment where we were meeting and was greeted by screaming girls, hugs and kisses, it was like i'd been away over seas or something and in away i guess i had. We got to the restaurant and we all sat down and caught up. I was having so much fun with the girls laughing taking photos and carrying on and having a couple of beers, the most i'd had to drink in almost a year.

I had been getting advice all week from different mums, (especially my own) that i should take it easy, advice which i was listening to, i wanted to have a good time but i definitely didn't want a hang over looking after a little baby. Also my partner had informed me a day or 2 before the hens that he had to work the following morning at 7am so i still had to be up to feed River for his morning feed which was usually around 630am 7ish.

Throughout the night my partner kept me updated with what was River was doing, it was great to be kept in the loop. After dinner i was feeling pretty good, a little tipsy but pretty good. We headed to a club, where i got to have a dance, something i'd been looking forward to. I'm not going to lie, i used to be quite the dancer back in the day, or at least i thought i was, haha. The sensible mum started to come out in me and i started to have a water after every drink. By the second club i was starting to really miss River so i decided it was time to go. Lucky i have great parents and my dad had agreed to pick me up and take me home.

When i got home, i had a shower and as i got out of the shower i started to hear River crying. I walked in and Jamie was sound asleep, that man could sleep through a bomb. I woke him up and told him River was crying and he jumped up and proceeded to heat up his bottle. In that time i had scooped River up who was starting to get really upset. I gave him his dummy and tried to calm him down. It was really hard to hold my baby and not give him what he wanted. My boobs were so full but i new the milk was no good, due to the alcohol. Jamie finally got the bottle ready and River guzzled it down and drifted off to sleep.

Jamie's alarm went off at 6am for him to go to work. I woke up in so much pain my boobs were literally about to explode, but i was so tired i tried to ignore it so i could get more sleep but i couldn't, so i got up and off i went to pump.

I sat on the couch with my eyes hanging out of my head and tried to pump. I guess because i wasn't really concentrating as i was so tired the milk just wasn't coming out, my boobs were sore and i was tired and it just wasn't working. After about half an hour i got enough out to be comfortable and just after i finished, River started crying for a feed, so i got the bottle ready and went in to feed him. River decided he didn't really like the bottle that morning, so he was crying and fussing taking the bottle then just chewing it. After about 45 mins he had finished and i put him back down to sleep. Again it was so hard to watch him fussing and crying and not being able to just whip my boob out and give him what he wanted.

I again pumped before his midday feed and gave him a bottle again. Again he was crying and crying waiting for the bottle and i was running back and forward from the kitchen to the lounge room, putting in his dummy then running back to fix the bottle, but it wasn't warm enough so i'd run back to the lounge room put his dummy back in and this continued for about 10 mins. Poor baby.

For his feed in the afternoon, i pumped a bit then fed him from the boob, it had been over 12hrs since i had last had a drink, so from what i had read it should have been fine. It was such a relief for me and River. My boobs were finally emptying and River was finally getting what he wanted.  Although it seemed River was getting full from the bottle, i couldn't help but think he wasn't getting enough.

All in all, i had fun at the hens, it was awesome catching up with the girls and having a laugh. But at the end of the day i wasn't drunk enough to really let my hair down but i was to drunk for my milk to be any good for River. I have the wedding next weekend and i've decided i'm going to drive. I might have a couple of beers over the evening but i want to be able to feed my baby. For me it was to hard having what he wanted but not being able to give it to him. Everyone is different and i would never judge a fellow mum however for me i think i'll be laying off the nights out until i finish breast feeding River, for me its not worth it, i'd rather have 1 or 2 drinks out for dinner with the girls and still be able to feed my little man.



If you enjoyed my blog, check out my face book page, Love and Late Nights Mumma where like minded mums come to share and discuss the good the bad and the ugly of motherhood!

Shower in a can?

I'm sure you've all heard of shower in a can, well i do something similar that i like to call shower for a busy mum.

I usually don't have time to have a shower until late in the evening and if i do have a spare 15 minutes during the day i usually can't be bothered.  So safe to say by the time the end of the day rolls around i'm a bit of a mess.

Now you might think this is gross or you might have a giggle and think, hey i do something similar, but this is what i do. Usually about 4pm after doing the 50 loads of washing, cleaning the kitchen and all the rest, i grab a face washer, wet it and wipe my face, neck and arm pits, apply some deodorant, then put some moisturiser on my face, brush my hair and my teeth. I almost feel like a new woman, almost.

Its the small things like feeling fresh that helps me get through to the end of the day.  

If you enjoyed my blog, check out my face book page, Love and Late Nights Mumma where like minded mums come to share and discuss the good the bad and the ugly of motherhood!

Breast pumping

I really dislike breast pumping!

I know I have to do it if I ever want to have some kind of life, but I find it's such an inconvenience. Then there's cleaning the pump taking it to pieces then sterilising, agh i just can't be bothered!

I've got an electric pump (thank god), I couldn't imagine sitting there (for what seems like forever) tired with my eyes falling out of my head manually trying to pump my boob. Oh and thats another thing they don't tell you, the milk doesn't just come out. Sometimes you really have to relax and concentrate or think about your baby to get the milk flowing and even then you might only get a little bit out.

I now have a stock pile going in the freezer but that does't mean I can stop pumping, if I do my boobs might explode. So i'll continue this boring inconvenient task because at the end of the day I want to do what I believe is right for my baby and that is feeding him breast milk.



If you enjoyed my blog, check out my face book page, Love and Late Nights Mumma where like minded mums come to share and discuss the good the bad and the ugly of motherhood!

Immunisation

Today my little man had his first round of immunisation needles. To say it was hard is an understatement.

As i watched him smiling and making noises on the doctors bed i felt so bad that in a minute that smile would turn into tears. The nurse asked if i was ready and told me to hold his hands and put my face near his face and talk to him. I watched his little face as she injected the needle, it screwed up and turn red then he let out such a scream it just broke my heart. As he cried i cried as well, and there was still another leg to go.

2 needles down and some oral medicine and it was over. I scooped him up and held him close and whispered in his ear "it's alright" to calm him down, he was so brave. After a few minutes i gave him a feed and like a true champ he gulped it down like nothing had happened.

While we were at the doctors the nurse also weighed and measured him. At 7 weeks and 6 days River is weighing in at an impressive 6.5kg's and is 63cm long. He's a very healthy little boy.

For the rest of the day my little man wasn't his usual smiley self and this evening the sleep routine went out the window. I started feeding him at 6pm to get him ready for bed at 7pm, but he was just so unsettled i could tell he was uncomfortable. The nurse suggested we get some baby panadol, so i gave him some but it didn't seem to do to much. He would feed then cry then feed then cry, every time i burped him he would cry, i would put him down and he would cry. In the end i just thought screw it my little baby needs me, i swaddled him, picked him up and rocked him to sleep. I think all he needed was his mumma, and his mumma will always be there for him.



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Spray...Woops!

Poor little guy, hehehe

Oh my gosh, does anyone else accidentally spray their baby all over the face with milk when their feeding? Or is it just me?

I feel so bad, but i can't help but giggle, the poor guy is just trying to have some breakfast and his getting sprayed all over the face, in his eyes up his nose in his hair. I even sprayed Jamie while he was sleeping beside me, my milk has a mind of its own.

OMG...River just rolled over and i caught it on video!

Today Wednesday the 5th of September will forever be known as the day River rolled over....and mumma caught it on video!

Now River actually rolled over a few days ago but i was to slow with the video and of course he hadn't done it since so i'm pretty sure no one actually believed me!

However today i put him on his tummy time mat and pretty much as soon as i put him down he was off, kicked his little leg back and swung his arm and boom his was over. I didn't want people to think it was a fluke so i rolled him back over and got him doing it again. He then decided to show off and did it another 3 times in a row.

His such a clever boy at 7 weeks and 5 days old, my son has mastered rolling from his belly to his back...i'm so proud :-)

If you enjoyed my blog, check out my face book page, Love and Late Nights Mumma where like minded mums come to share and discuss the good the bad and the ugly of motherhood!

Fathers Day

The 2nd of September 2012 was Jamie's first fathers day.

I let the sleep routine slip a little so Jamie and i could have a sleep in. I fed River at 6:30am and we got to sleep in till 9am. As River was starting to stir i picked him up out of his basinet took his swaddle off and plopped him next to Jamie and said "Happy first fathers day baby"! I watched as Jamie's sleepy face lit up as he looked at his son, was so heart warming i almost burst with love.

River was very generous for his first fathers day and got his daddy some Bunnings vouchers so he could buy some tools and a big bucket of M&M's. Daddy was very happy.

As we lay in bed playing with River we had propped him up against a pillow so he could sit up and see us. After about 5 mins of fun River got that all to familiar face on and 2 seconds late boom River did a little present in his pants for daddy. We sat there for a few minutes, as all of you who have a baby know that first initial poop isn't usually the last. As we sit there and wait, River goes to town again in his pants, but this time before we know it, it starts coming out the sides and all over the bed....YAY! All we can do is laugh. Jamie scoops him up and takes him into his room to get changed as i run around trying to find a cloth to clean up before it hits the mattress.

After our little poop episode we all got ready to go out for breakie. As jamie and River were waiting for me to get changed they were having a little play on the couch. I hear Jamie laughing and saying "River" in that i can't believe you just did that tone, as i poke my head around the corner i see that River had given Jamie another little fathers day present in the form of puke all down his arm.


Breakie was lovely, we went to Little St Kilda in Palm Beach. We ordered our usual 2 cappuccino's in a mug and 2 breakfast burrito's. As we sat waiting for our breakfast, i looked at Jamie with River on his lap and i couldn't believe how lucky i was. I had an amazing partner who loved me for me and who couldn't be a better father and i had a son who was so funny and beautiful and wise beyond his years.

We had an awesome morning for Jamie's first fathers day i could watch those 2 playing and laughing at each other forever. I look forward to many more fathers day's and many more amazing memories with my little family.

Daddy and River in bed after pressies

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Daddy and River at breaky

Dream Feeds

I had never heard of dream feeding, but it sounded so nice i wanted to know if i could do it myself!

Dream feeding as the name implies, is feeding your baby while they are asleep or dreaming. This is used to help baby and mum sleep for longer periods without waking.

The sleep routine i'm trying suggests to dream feed, so last night i gave it a go. I decided to give my little one a bottle instead of the boob as i thought it may be easier. I went in quiet as a mouse with just a little light creeping in through the door. Carefully i pulled back his little blanket and picked him up. It was like picking up a live bomb, at any moment it could go off. I carefully sat down and cradled him in my arms and put the bottle to his mouth. As soon as that bottle hit his lips they were closed for business. He wasn't having any of it. I pulled the bottle away and waited a few seconds and tried again, and again he shut is little lips tight.

An hour or so passed and i decided to give it another go before i went to bed. I creeped back in and picked him up. This time i put the bottle to his lips he sucked for about 5 seconds...and that was it. I tried again and it seemed to wake him up so i panicked and quickly put him back in his bed. I walked out of the room shaking my head and told my partner "this is stupid now i've bloody woken him up".

But he didn't wake up properly, just rustled around for a minute then went back to sleep. I went to bed  and as i started to hear the little cries telling me to wake up i checked my phone and realised it was 2:30am and my clever little man had slept for 6hrs. I couldn't believe it i was so proud of him, this was the longest River has slept EVER.

Now i'm not 100% sure if River sleeping for 6hrs had anything to do with the 5 second dream feed i gave him, but i will definitely be trying it again tonight.

If you enjoyed my blog, check out my face book page, Love and Late Nights Mumma where like minded mums come to share and discuss the good the bad and the ugly of motherhood!

Stretch Marks

I always just thought i wouldn't get stretch marks, i don't know why, i guess i just assumed because i've always moisturised and looked after my body that stretch marks weren't for me.

I was fine till about 28 weeks or so. Jamie was taking a belly picture of me and when i checked it out, boom! there were 3 little purple coloured lines on my hips. I was mortified and embarrassed. I quickly ran to the bathroom and applied copious amounts of bio oil and started to worry if there would be any more popping up any time soon.

Surely enough those 3 stretch marks were the beginning of the end of my lovely hips and stomach that i had looked after so well for the past 25 years.  

Over the next 12 weeks my collection of stretch marks grew and grew till they had marched there way from the back of my hips right round the front and across the bottom of my stomach. It was a love hate relationship. There were days when i would look at myself in the mirror and be extremely upset and depressed about my appearance. I was a young 25 year old women, would i ever be able to wear a bikini again? Then there were days when i would think, hey there not so bad, i am carrying a beautiful baby in there after all. 

The days were i felt upset about my body far out weighed the days were i thought they weren't so bad. I tried everything, bio oil, vitamin E cream i even spent $100 bucks on some miracle cream i found on the internet. Nothing seemed to slow down the rate at which they were appearing on my body. At the end of the day i admitted defeat and gave in to the fact that there was nothing i could do. 

The beginning of the end

Its now been 7 weeks since i had my little miracle and i'm still applying the bio oil twice a day. The stretch marks seem to be fading, but i know they will never completely go away. I started to get quite self conscious around my partner Jamie. If ever he busted in on me in the shower i would turn away so he couldn't see me. Jamie has been super supportive, telling me he doesn't care about my stretch marks and reminding me that they are a result of carrying our big beautiful child and that i should love them. I don't know if i'll ever love them, but i think he's right I carried a 10 pound baby in my belly and i should be proud of that and try and embrace these stretch marks a little more.

It may be time to hang up my bikini, but all is not lost thanks to the return of the 1 piece cozy. Thats something i'll be rocking this summer.


If you enjoyed my blog, check out my face book page, Love and Late Nights Mumma where like minded mums come to share and discuss the good the bad and the ugly of motherhood!

Nipple Confusion

Does your baby use a dummy?

I never knew that giving your child a dummy was an issue until i was getting ready to leave the hospital after having River. Before leaving the hospital the midwife comes around and goes through a few things with you like breastfeeding, contraception (not like that was happening any time soon) and how your feeling ect and then she told me that the hospital discourages the use of dummies. She said that dummies can cause nipple confusion. I don't know why but i smiled and agreed with her without really knowing what nipple confusion was, she must have assumed i knew because she didn't explain.

A week or so later River had been feeding for about 2 hours and just wouldn't settle, Jamie suggested giving him the dummy and i said no. He asked why and i said the hospital discourages the use of them because it can cause nipple confusion.  He asked what that was and i looked at him with a blank face and said umm i don't know. So i whipped my old mate google and typed in nipple confusion. 

Nipple Confusion

Nipple confusion doesn't mean your baby is confused about what your breast or nipple is for. Nipple confusion is used to describe when a baby is reluctant to breastfeed, and seems to find it easier to bottle-feed expressed milk, this can be caused by the introduction of a dummy to early on. 

The sucking actions of breastfeeding, when compared to a dummy (or bottle feeding) are very different. 
Bottle teats are fairly rigid, with a constant flow of milk, so your baby won't have to work hard to get at the milk he wants. To feed from your breast, your baby must first open his mouth wide to latch on. Then he'll need to use about 40 facial muscles, which he'll work constantly to get his tummy full of milk. 

Now i'd never heard of nipple confusion before, but after researching i decided i'd give the dummy a go anyway. Its amazing how a screaming baby and your lack of sleep can influence your choices. The next night the same thing happened with River, he was feeding for about 2 hrs and just wouldn't settle. In the end he wasn't even really sucking, he was just flutter sucking as i like to call it. I put him back in his little sleep safe cot which was in our bed and gave him the dummy, within 10 min he was out cold. 


We only use the dummy with River mostly if we're out somewhere and his starting to get fussy. I've never experienced nipple confusion with River, personally i think if you shove something in Rivers mouth and there is food coming out the other end he'll take it. 

I thought nipple confusion was quite interesting and it can be a problem for some mums. I was surprised with all the reading i did over my pregnancy i didn't read anything about this. 

Have you ever experienced nipple confusion with your little one?

Are you choosing not to give your bub a dummy for fear of nipple confusion? 


If you enjoyed my blog, check out my face book page, Love and Late Nights Mumma where like minded mums come to share and discuss the good the bad and the ugly of motherhood!

Birth...Oh dear God the birth! Guys this post might be a littleTMI

Who ever said "once you have that baby in your arms you forget about all the pain" in my opinion was lying! I will never forget that experience as long as i live.

I mean don't get me wrong, there are many women who have a somewhat cruizy birth, i was just not one of them.

My baby had been measuring 2 weeks in front pretty much from day dot. The doctors didn't seem to worried, even after they sent me for an ultrasound at 36 weeks to check his weight. The ultrasound showed a healthy baby at an estimated weight of 3.6kg which is an average BIRTH weight and he still had 4 weeks to go. The doctor went on about how its give or take 900g and the ultrasounds aren't that accurate blah blah blah and i couldn't help but think why did you bloody send me in the first place! I was starting to get a bit worried, if my baby was 3.6kg's at 36 weeks, what is it going to be in another 4 weeks or worse if he goes over.

Now as i said, Google had become my best friend and as a first time mum one of my hot topics to google was 'signs of labour'. It was a week out from my due date and from what i read i wasn't showing any signs of labour, my baby hadn't dropped, he wasn't properly engaged, no mucus plug, bloody show or anything. I was starting to feel as though i would be pregnant forever and i was over it.

I tried everything to get labour going, i walked everyday, i had a birth ball and i bounced on that every night, i tried red raspberry leaf tea, acupuncture, evening primrose oil and that old favourite sex. Nothing seemed to work.

My due date rolled by with no sign of baby. I had a doctors appointment at the hospital 3 days after my due date where the doctor attempted to perform a strip and stretch. A strip and stretch is a natural form of induction where the doctor tries to separate the sac which is holding the waters and the baby from the lower part of the uterus. To do this you need to be somewhat dilated, the doctor gave it ago but i wasn't dilated enough, so i was very disappointed. We booked the induction for the following Friday. The doctor told it to me straight, he thought it was going to be a difficult induction with the size of the baby and i was a high candidate for a caesarian. I was devastated. I had always imagined going into labour naturally at home, excitedly waking my partner up saying "its time" and then rushing to the hospital to have a beautiful baby. As soon as we got in the car i cried and i didn't stop crying all the way home and for the next couple of hours. Now i know the important thing is that the baby is delivered safely and i agree, but for 9 months i had pictured the way my labour would go and now it seemed that wasn't going to happen.

2 days later at 2:30am i was woken by cramps in my tummy, cramps i hadn't felt before. I tried to go back to sleep but they were quite painful, so i switched on my contractions app and started to time how far apart the pains were. They were coming about 4 and a half min apart and were lasting for about 50 seconds. I didn't want to get my hopes up but i had a feeling this was it. I got up and made myself some toast and paced around our living room and kitchen. The contractions were very regular and i noticed i had started to lose my mucus plug and i had to go to the loo to do number 2's a lot. From my mate google i new these were signs of labour so i started to get excited and thought i better start getting ready. I had a shower and went in a told Jamie that i think this might be it. I called the hospital and told them what was happening, they told me to wait it out a little while longer and when the contractions are about 2 mins apart or the pain was to bad then come in. At 6am the contractions were about 3 mins apart and about 1 min long so i went in and got Jamie up, he was so excited. We left to go to the hospital at about 7am.

The contractions jumped to about 2 min to 1 and a half min apart and this continued on for what seemed like an eternity. My plan was always to give birth naturally with no drugs so i tried the birthing ball bouncing on that through contractions and that wasn't for me, then I got in the bath for a while which was nice until the contractions came i also had the gas and after a while i realised there was absolutely nothing natural that was going to take the pain of the contractions away. I lasted for about 14hrs with no drugs but when the baby flipped around to a posterior position which is his spine on my spine i couldn't take it any more, not only was the pain at the front and radiating down my legs it was now excruciating back pain as well, i opted for the epidural. Well i didn't opt for it i screamed for it!

14hrs of pain i will never forget left me so extremely tired i could barely move i felt delirious. The epidural was a god send. I went into this pregnancy knowing i didn't really want an epidural but you just can't imagine the pain until it actually happens, i think there should be no shame in getting an epidural, you have to do whats right for you and your baby. So after i had the epidural i got to rest which was great, i was going to need it in a few hours to push my big boy out. They broke my waters i think an hour or so after i had the epidural and the midwife told me not to worry but there was meconium in the waters which meant that the baby had his first poo while still in the womb. This can be quite serious as the baby inhales the poo and it can block their airways. The midwife notified the paediatrician so he could be there to look after River when he was born.

A few hours had passed and i had gone from 5cm dilated to 9cm dilated, the midwife said that in an hour or so i could start pushing, i immediately became excited about meeting my new baby and terrified of pushing the baby out. At 10pm the midwife came in and said i could start pushing, Jamie got behind one leg and my sister behind the other, with each contraction i pushed for 10 seconds the first few pushes i couldn't feel to much but that quickly changed. As i kept pushing the pain was crazy, the pushing sensation is like pushing out a big poo, a poo the size of a watermelon. I could feel the baby slowly inching out and at one point the midwife asked if i wanted to touch the head, i reached down and felt this slimy little head, in my mind i figured if i could feel the tip of the head surely they could just pull him out, but that wasn't the case as we all know, i had to keep pushing. I pushed for an hour an half and this was hard core pushing, his head was half out and i can't even explain how that feels. The midwife asked me if it was ok to cut me, as i had previously said if i have to, i would prefer to tear rather then be cut as you heal better, at that stage though i didn't care, i screamed at him "just do it, just do it" but somewhere around that point i couldn't handle the pain anymore and i did an all mighty push and i popped out the head, no cutting required. Now in the movies once you pop the head out usually the shoulders and the body follow i didn't realise i had to keep pushing. I kept going but the shoulders were stuck i gave it a good go but they weren't getting through. The midwife had to do the McRoberts manoeuvre or the legs manoeuvre which is where the midwives quickly move the legs right up around the ears this creates more space in the pelvis so the shoulders can pop out and they did. I was so exhausted i forgot all about finding out what the sex was but then i heard jamie cry, its a boy. My slimy big 10lbs 3oz baby boy was born at 11:32pm on Friday the 13th we named him River James West Laidlaw.

My little man

I can't explain the relief and the joy at having that little baby, or in my case big baby on my belly, touching him with my hands, something that not seconds before was inside me. They quickly grabbed him off me and the paediatrician started working on him cleaning out his lungs and giving him oxygen. I was yelling "is he ok" to the doctors and they assured me he was fine. Jamie got to hold him then i held him one last time before he was wheeled off to the special care nursery, where he would stay to be monitored for the next 2 days.

After giving birth, i had to wait for the doctor to come and stitch me up, i may not have been cut but i did tear, i'd like to meet any mum who has a 10 pound baby and doesn't tear. He took what seemed like forever and all i wanted to do was see my little River man. He finally came, did what he needed to do and then Jamie came back, helped me to have a shower then wheeled me down to see my little man.

It was surreal seeing my little baby, i couldn't believe he was mine, i still look at him and can't believe what we created.

Proud Daddy

Now i may never forget the pain, but i would go through it all over again in a heartbeat. River has changed my life forever, i've never known such love, it grows every day with each new facial expression, each smile or giggle and even the tears. Us mum's are a strong bunch and we should be so proud of what our bodies can do, it truly is a miracle.



If you enjoyed my blog, check out my face book page, Love and Late Nights Mumma where like minded mums come to share and discuss the good the bad and the ugly of motherhood!