Who ever said "once you have that baby in your arms you forget about all the pain" in my opinion was lying! I will never forget that experience as long as i live.
I mean don't get me wrong, there are many women who have a somewhat cruizy birth, i was just not one of them.
My baby had been measuring 2 weeks in front pretty much from day dot. The doctors didn't seem to worried, even after they sent me for an ultrasound at 36 weeks to check his weight. The ultrasound showed a healthy baby at an estimated weight of 3.6kg which is an average BIRTH weight and he still had 4 weeks to go. The doctor went on about how its give or take 900g and the ultrasounds aren't that accurate blah blah blah and i couldn't help but think why did you bloody send me in the first place! I was starting to get a bit worried, if my baby was 3.6kg's at 36 weeks, what is it going to be in another 4 weeks or worse if he goes over.
Now as i said, Google had become my best friend and as a first time mum one of my hot topics to google was 'signs of labour'. It was a week out from my due date and from what i read i wasn't showing any signs of labour, my baby hadn't dropped, he wasn't properly engaged, no mucus plug, bloody show or anything. I was starting to feel as though i would be pregnant forever and i was over it.
I tried everything to get labour going, i walked everyday, i had a birth ball and i bounced on that every night, i tried red raspberry leaf tea, acupuncture, evening primrose oil and that old favourite sex. Nothing seemed to work.
My due date rolled by with no sign of baby. I had a doctors appointment at the hospital 3 days after my due date where the doctor attempted to perform a strip and stretch. A strip and stretch is a natural form of induction where the doctor tries to separate the sac which is holding the waters and the baby from the lower part of the uterus. To do this you need to be somewhat dilated, the doctor gave it ago but i wasn't dilated enough, so i was very disappointed. We booked the induction for the following Friday. The doctor told it to me straight, he thought it was going to be a difficult induction with the size of the baby and i was a high candidate for a caesarian. I was devastated. I had always imagined going into labour naturally at home, excitedly waking my partner up saying "its time" and then rushing to the hospital to have a beautiful baby. As soon as we got in the car i cried and i didn't stop crying all the way home and for the next couple of hours. Now i know the important thing is that the baby is delivered safely and i agree, but for 9 months i had pictured the way my labour would go and now it seemed that wasn't going to happen.
2 days later at 2:30am i was woken by cramps in my tummy, cramps i hadn't felt before. I tried to go back to sleep but they were quite painful, so i switched on my contractions app and started to time how far apart the pains were. They were coming about 4 and a half min apart and were lasting for about 50 seconds. I didn't want to get my hopes up but i had a feeling this was it. I got up and made myself some toast and paced around our living room and kitchen. The contractions were very regular and i noticed i had started to lose my mucus plug and i had to go to the loo to do number 2's a lot. From my mate google i new these were signs of labour so i started to get excited and thought i better start getting ready. I had a shower and went in a told Jamie that i think this might be it. I called the hospital and told them what was happening, they told me to wait it out a little while longer and when the contractions are about 2 mins apart or the pain was to bad then come in. At 6am the contractions were about 3 mins apart and about 1 min long so i went in and got Jamie up, he was so excited. We left to go to the hospital at about 7am.
The contractions jumped to about 2 min to 1 and a half min apart and this continued on for what seemed like an eternity. My plan was always to give birth naturally with no drugs so i tried the birthing ball bouncing on that through contractions and that wasn't for me, then I got in the bath for a while which was nice until the contractions came i also had the gas and after a while i realised there was absolutely nothing natural that was going to take the pain of the contractions away. I lasted for about 14hrs with no drugs but when the baby flipped around to a posterior position which is his spine on my spine i couldn't take it any more, not only was the pain at the front and radiating down my legs it was now excruciating back pain as well, i opted for the epidural. Well i didn't opt for it i screamed for it!
14hrs of pain i will never forget left me so extremely tired i could barely move i felt delirious. The epidural was a god send. I went into this pregnancy knowing i didn't really want an epidural but you just can't imagine the pain until it actually happens, i think there should be no shame in getting an epidural, you have to do whats right for you and your baby. So after i had the epidural i got to rest which was great, i was going to need it in a few hours to push my big boy out. They broke my waters i think an hour or so after i had the epidural and the midwife told me not to worry but there was meconium in the waters which meant that the baby had his first poo while still in the womb. This can be quite serious as the baby inhales the poo and it can block their airways. The midwife notified the paediatrician so he could be there to look after River when he was born.
A few hours had passed and i had gone from 5cm dilated to 9cm dilated, the midwife said that in an hour or so i could start pushing, i immediately became excited about meeting my new baby and terrified of pushing the baby out. At 10pm the midwife came in and said i could start pushing, Jamie got behind one leg and my sister behind the other, with each contraction i pushed for 10 seconds the first few pushes i couldn't feel to much but that quickly changed. As i kept pushing the pain was crazy, the pushing sensation is like pushing out a big poo, a poo the size of a watermelon. I could feel the baby slowly inching out and at one point the midwife asked if i wanted to touch the head, i reached down and felt this slimy little head, in my mind i figured if i could feel the tip of the head surely they could just pull him out, but that wasn't the case as we all know, i had to keep pushing. I pushed for an hour an half and this was hard core pushing, his head was half out and i can't even explain how that feels. The midwife asked me if it was ok to cut me, as i had previously said if i have to, i would prefer to tear rather then be cut as you heal better, at that stage though i didn't care, i screamed at him "just do it, just do it" but somewhere around that point i couldn't handle the pain anymore and i did an all mighty push and i popped out the head, no cutting required. Now in the movies once you pop the head out usually the shoulders and the body follow i didn't realise i had to keep pushing. I kept going but the shoulders were stuck i gave it a good go but they weren't getting through. The midwife had to do the McRoberts manoeuvre or the legs manoeuvre which is where the midwives quickly move the legs right up around the ears this creates more space in the pelvis so the shoulders can pop out and they did. I was so exhausted i forgot all about finding out what the sex was but then i heard jamie cry, its a boy. My slimy big 10lbs 3oz baby boy was born at 11:32pm on Friday the 13th we named him River James West Laidlaw.
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| My little man |
I can't explain the relief and the joy at having that little baby, or in my case big baby on my belly, touching him with my hands, something that not seconds before was inside me. They quickly grabbed him off me and the paediatrician started working on him cleaning out his lungs and giving him oxygen. I was yelling "is he ok" to the doctors and they assured me he was fine. Jamie got to hold him then i held him one last time before he was wheeled off to the special care nursery, where he would stay to be monitored for the next 2 days.
After giving birth, i had to wait for the doctor to come and stitch me up, i may not have been cut but i did tear, i'd like to meet any mum who has a 10 pound baby and doesn't tear. He took what seemed like forever and all i wanted to do was see my little River man. He finally came, did what he needed to do and then Jamie came back, helped me to have a shower then wheeled me down to see my little man.
It was surreal seeing my little baby, i couldn't believe he was mine, i still look at him and can't believe what we created.
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| Proud Daddy |
Now i may never forget the pain, but i would go through it all over again in a heartbeat. River has changed my life forever, i've never known such love, it grows every day with each new facial expression, each smile or giggle and even the tears. Us mum's are a strong bunch and we should be so proud of what our bodies can do, it truly is a miracle.
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